It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
