There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
