How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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