i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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