He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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