I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
