Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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