Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
