I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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