Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
