Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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