today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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