i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
