Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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