Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize