FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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