I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
