Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
