for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When did angry sex become our thing?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
