i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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