Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
