Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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