8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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