you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
