yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
