Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
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I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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