Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
