So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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