he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
