it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
