ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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