it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
