So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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