dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
