And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
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Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
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Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize