just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
