So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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