Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
