How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
two words...techno handjob
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
