my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
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I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
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My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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