My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
