dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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