Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
