Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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