youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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