he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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