too bad you live with your parents still
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
