I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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