He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
