he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
