she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
