he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
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It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
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I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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