She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
