Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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