He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
