i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
why do cheetos always look like penises
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
