Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize