dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
