You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize