can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
