Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you traded sex for a burrito?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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