I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
