Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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