Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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