nut hugger
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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