whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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